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Our Tribute To Chris Benoit |
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Dead wrestler tribute
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Our
panel of pumped-up professional wrestlers say good-bye to
(until the last couple of days or so) one of the most popular
professional wrestlers of recent years, Chris Benoit.
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Harry
Slammer Bangerman: "Benoit are you listening
to me? Listen good! You piece of rat dung! If I ever
get in the same room as you I'm gonna pound ya. Then
I'm gonna bash ya. Then I'm gonna throw you out of
the window of a ten story building. Then I'm gonna
run down the stairwell and pick you up and carry you
up the building and throw you out of the window again.
Then I'm gonna smash ya.... "
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Biff
'Eyeglasses' Strangler: "Benoit are you
listening to me? Wherever you are, listen to me
now! You pathetic piece of poop. Yea, that's right!
I'm gonna pound ya. And I'm gonna smash ya. And
I'm gonna pull your nose. And I'm gonna give you
the worst double nipple pinch of your life. And
I'm gonna pull your trunks down and... and ..."
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Randy
'Eyes' Biffer: "Benoit are you listening
to me? Listen good! You piece of chicken lilly livered
ball munching namby pamby icky... doo dah... I'm
gonna pound ya... I'm gonna smash ya.... I'm gonna
mash ya... I'm gonna crash ya... I'm gonna splash
ya... I'm gonna trash ya... And I'm gonna flash
ya... And I'm gonna wash ya... And I'm gonna zplash
ya.... Uhm... And when I've finished with ya, you're
gonna be aaaaarrrggghhhhh..."
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LadyBiff:
"Benoit, are you listening to me? You piece
of horse manure! Yea, that's right, you heard me!
Is WWE gonna give you a proper send off? You and
me in the ring, busta... NOW! I'll pick you up and
give you a posting
and I'm gonna jump on ya, and I'm gonna throw you
out of the ring.... and then I'm gonna throw you
back in the ring...
and then I'm gonna..."
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Rabbit-Whacker:
"Benoit are you listening to me? I'm gonna
find where you are and then I'm gonna dig you up
and stick a carrot up your ass you piece of poop.
Did you hear me Benoit? BENWAH? BENWAH? No I'm gonna
call you BE-NO-IT. Ha!"
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Polite
'Gentleman' Bald Bruiser: "Mr C. Benoit are
you listening to me? Wherever you are! Next time I
see you I'm going to give you a real telling off my
boy. Yes, that's right, mister big muscles! I fully
intend to give you an awfully big talking to young
man. Then I'll probably, given half the chance, give
you a rather large pounding. And then I'll, perchance
of course, give you a jolly good smashing. If a mashing
is on the cards then it's yours, big boy, you can
be sure of that. And then I'll probably take my gloves
and give you a ruddy hard face-slapping. And I've
got some paper with me and I'm fully intending to
give you some paper cuts... oooh..."
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If
you would like to leave your tribute to Chris Benoit please
send an email to editor@theVoiceofReason.com.
We'll put up the best ones.
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