June 28, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Benoit Tribute

Our Tribute To Chris Benoit

Dead wrestler tribute

Our panel of pumped-up professional wrestlers say good-bye to (until the last couple of days or so) one of the most popular professional wrestlers of recent years, Chris Benoit.

Harry Slammer Bangerman: "Benoit are you listening to me? Listen good! You piece of rat dung! If I ever get in the same room as you I'm gonna pound ya. Then I'm gonna bash ya. Then I'm gonna throw you out of the window of a ten story building. Then I'm gonna run down the stairwell and pick you up and carry you up the building and throw you out of the window again. Then I'm gonna smash ya.... "

Biff 'Eyeglasses' Strangler: "Benoit are you listening to me? Wherever you are, listen to me now! You pathetic piece of poop. Yea, that's right! I'm gonna pound ya. And I'm gonna smash ya. And I'm gonna pull your nose. And I'm gonna give you the worst double nipple pinch of your life. And I'm gonna pull your trunks down and... and ..."


Randy 'Eyes' Biffer: "Benoit are you listening to me? Listen good! You piece of chicken lilly livered ball munching namby pamby icky... doo dah... I'm gonna pound ya... I'm gonna smash ya.... I'm gonna mash ya... I'm gonna crash ya... I'm gonna splash ya... I'm gonna trash ya... And I'm gonna flash ya... And I'm gonna wash ya... And I'm gonna zplash ya.... Uhm... And when I've finished with ya, you're gonna be aaaaarrrggghhhhh..."


LadyBiff: "Benoit, are you listening to me? You piece of horse manure! Yea, that's right, you heard me! Is WWE gonna give you a proper send off? You and me in the ring, busta... NOW! I'll pick you up and give you a posting and I'm gonna jump on ya, and I'm gonna throw you out of the ring.... and then I'm gonna throw you back in the ring... and then I'm gonna..."


Rabbit-Whacker: "Benoit are you listening to me? I'm gonna find where you are and then I'm gonna dig you up and stick a carrot up your ass you piece of poop. Did you hear me Benoit? BENWAH? BENWAH? No I'm gonna call you BE-NO-IT. Ha!"

Polite 'Gentleman' Bald Bruiser: "Mr C. Benoit are you listening to me? Wherever you are! Next time I see you I'm going to give you a real telling off my boy. Yes, that's right, mister big muscles! I fully intend to give you an awfully big talking to young man. Then I'll probably, given half the chance, give you a rather large pounding. And then I'll, perchance of course, give you a jolly good smashing. If a mashing is on the cards then it's yours, big boy, you can be sure of that. And then I'll probably take my gloves and give you a ruddy hard face-slapping. And I've got some paper with me and I'm fully intending to give you some paper cuts... oooh..."

If you would like to leave your tribute to Chris Benoit please send an email to We'll put up the best ones.


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