Paul
Wolfowitz, president of the World Bank, was heralded as a hero this morning after
White House sources revealed that he single handedly thwarted a daring robbery,
"possibly saving the bank hundreds of dollars".
Wolfowitz, using just the power of words, managed to outthink robbers 'getting
ready outside in the car park' from stealing from the Bank by telling somebody
to lock a door.
Miss
Cleckson, the clerk who locked the door after receiving Wolfowitz's instructions,
told reporters that Wolfowitz was the smartest operator she had ever worked with
and that he was 'the real hero here'.
The
raid, had it succeeded, would have been the most daring raid ever on The World
Bank, which deals with millions of dollars a year.
A
guy recently promoted by Wolfowitz told this webpaper:
"Wolfowitz
is a hero plain and simple. He's a man's man. If anyone was gonna stop this raid
then it was him. If he doesn't get a role in the movie Oceans 13 now, then there's
no justice."
Paul
Wolfowitz has been at the center of corruption allegations after it was revealed
that he got a promotion for his girlfriend in The World Bank.
The
World Bank has never been raided by robbers before because it doesn't have any
actual money there. However, the Bank is believed to have office equipment and
supplies worth up to as much as $3,500.
Had
robbers stolen these office supplies it is possible that nobody in The World Bank
would have been able to phone anyone or write emails until somebody popped down
to the nearest Staples to get more stuff.
It
is believed that coffee making and drink would not have been affected by the raid
thwarted by Wolfowitz because these are 'Crazy Glued to the walls'.
The
White House released this statement of support:
"Paul
Wolfowitz is just brilliant, he selflessly saved lives
here today. Stop sniping at this hero."
