May 16, 2007
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"World Bank Robbery Thwarted By Quick Thinking Wolfowitz", Says White House

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Paul Wolfowitz, president of the World Bank, was heralded as a hero this morning after White House sources revealed that he single handedly thwarted a daring robbery, "possibly saving the bank hundreds of dollars".

Wolfowitz, using just the power of words, managed to outthink robbers 'getting ready outside in the car park' from stealing from the Bank by telling somebody to lock a door.

Miss Cleckson, the clerk who locked the door after receiving Wolfowitz's instructions, told reporters that Wolfowitz was the smartest operator she had ever worked with and that he was 'the real hero here'.

The raid, had it succeeded, would have been the most daring raid ever on The World Bank, which deals with millions of dollars a year.

A guy recently promoted by Wolfowitz told this webpaper:

"Wolfowitz is a hero plain and simple. He's a man's man. If anyone was gonna stop this raid then it was him. If he doesn't get a role in the movie Oceans 13 now, then there's no justice."

Paul Wolfowitz has been at the center of corruption allegations after it was revealed that he got a promotion for his girlfriend in The World Bank.

The World Bank has never been raided by robbers before because it doesn't have any actual money there. However, the Bank is believed to have office equipment and supplies worth up to as much as $3,500.

Had robbers stolen these office supplies it is possible that nobody in The World Bank would have been able to phone anyone or write emails until somebody popped down to the nearest Staples to get more stuff.

It is believed that coffee making and drink would not have been affected by the raid thwarted by Wolfowitz because these are 'Crazy Glued to the walls'.

The White House released this statement of support:

"Paul Wolfowitz is just brilliant, he selflessly saved lives here today. Stop sniping at this hero."


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