theVoiceofReason.com
May 2, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Kicking Kirk
Spoof

"I Would Watch Anything That William Shatner Was In!" Join Our Debate!

Captain Kirk Controversy

William Shatner is now officially the most liked person in the whole world, that's according to a survey we did amongst the guys in the office five minutes ago.

Bill Shatner, who came to our attention first as Captain Kirk in 'Sixties in Space' TV show 'Star Trek', and has since been in hit shows including TJ Hooker and Boston Legal, is now so popular our survey suggests that over 1.75 billion people across the world would watch just about anything he ever did, including over 300 million people who would buy anything he advertised without even thinking about it.

But what does our panel think about William Shatner?

"Great guy. Great guy. I would even read a book he wrote even if it was on the most boring subject in the world, like fluffy dogs in Elizabethan England. Uhm. He hasn't written a book about fluffy dogs in Elizabethan England has he? No? Great. Yea, then I would read it then. If he had written it."
   

"I look at Bill Shatner and wonder what Elvis Presley would have looked like today had he lived so long...

It's such a shame that his initials are BS, but that's the only bad thing I can say about the guy."

   

"Shatner? Shat? Ner? The past tense of shit? Really? Hic? And he's famous? Today of course they couldn't have called him Shat Nerr like that. But in the old days they could. Well if that's progress then I'll be fucked. Fuck progress if you ask me, give me an old guy in a rug any day to these young pip squeaks. Apart from the fits ones with the nice bods. No, I'm talking about the guys mainly. Connery? Sean Connery? He's another one. Fuck the lot of em. Or am I thinking about Columbo? Oh, fuck. Hic."

   

"Oh, Captain Kirk, fantastic! That episode of Star Trek when he got his shirt off? Oh! It made this girl all hot and flustered as a teen I can tell you! Today? Shirtless? Yea, OK, but don't expect me to hyperventilate like I did in my youth. He must be over 80 now."

   

"I would even watch a garbage collection documentary if William Shatner was on the show.

He manages to light up my life like no other. God forbid that I say this, but I'm gonna say it anyway: When he dies a whole year of silence would be completely inadequate to serve as a tribute to this international icon of macho mayhem."

   
"I do hope Mr Shatner brings out an after shave, or eau de toilet, pronto. I would buy it by the gallon and splash it on with gay (in the macho sense) abandon. It was a pity when Elvis died, however had Elvis lived he could not possibly look as marketable as Shatner does today."

Have your say: editor@theVoiceofReason.com

 

RSS
XML
Other stories
For our latest stories click here
©theVoiceofReason.com
Don't stop searching for the truth. You certainly won't find it here.
"The home of truth entertainment", "The truth is in here" and "Uniting the world through sarcasm"(c) theVoiceofReason.com TM. World rights reserved. This is a comedy / entertainment site with a mix of real and spoof stories and special features.
Do you have a comment? Help us improve: editor@theVoiceofReason.com
Advert
When only cynicsm will do