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"I Would Watch Anything That William Shatner Was In!" Join Our Debate!
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Captain Kirk Controversy
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William
Shatner is now officially the most liked person in the whole
world, that's according to a survey we did amongst the guys
in the office five minutes ago.
Bill
Shatner, who came to our attention first as Captain Kirk
in 'Sixties in Space' TV show 'Star Trek', and has since
been in hit shows including TJ Hooker and Boston Legal,
is now so popular our survey suggests that over 1.75 billion
people across the world would watch just about anything
he ever did, including over 300 million people who would
buy anything he advertised without even thinking about it.
But
what does our panel think about William Shatner?
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"Great
guy. Great guy. I would even read a book he wrote
even if it was on the most boring subject in the world,
like fluffy dogs in Elizabethan England. Uhm. He hasn't
written a book about fluffy dogs in Elizabethan England
has he? No? Great. Yea, then I would read it then.
If he had written it."
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"I
look at Bill Shatner and wonder what Elvis Presley
would have looked like today had he lived so long...
It's
such a shame that his initials are BS, but that's
the only bad thing I can say about the guy."
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"Shatner?
Shat? Ner? The past tense of shit? Really? Hic?
And he's famous? Today of course they couldn't have
called him Shat Nerr like that. But in the old days
they could. Well if that's progress then I'll be
fucked. Fuck progress if you ask me, give me an
old guy in a rug any day to these young pip squeaks.
Apart from the fits ones with the nice bods. No,
I'm talking about the guys mainly. Connery? Sean
Connery? He's another one. Fuck the lot of em. Or
am I thinking about Columbo? Oh, fuck. Hic."
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"Oh,
Captain Kirk, fantastic! That episode of Star Trek
when he got his shirt off? Oh! It made this girl
all hot and flustered as a teen I can tell you!
Today? Shirtless? Yea, OK, but don't expect me to
hyperventilate like I did in my youth. He must be
over 80 now."
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"I
would even watch a garbage collection documentary
if William Shatner was on the show.
He
manages to light up my life like no other. God forbid
that I say this, but I'm gonna say it anyway: When
he dies a whole year of silence would be completely
inadequate to serve as a tribute to this international
icon of macho mayhem."
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"I
do hope Mr Shatner brings out an after shave, or eau
de toilet, pronto. I would buy it by the gallon and
splash it on with gay (in the macho sense) abandon.
It was a pity when Elvis died, however had Elvis lived
he could not possibly look as marketable as Shatner
does today."
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Have
your say: editor@theVoiceofReason.com
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