Feb 6, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Shuitastic

Feng Shui Doesn't Work In Some Countries If They Are 'Funny Shape', Expert Reveals

"Feng Shui Ruined My Life"

Feng Shui, the belief that arranging a building or a room in a certain way gives a positive vibe to the place*, has been exposed as a fraud in testimony given to this web paper by an anonymous expert in the field. This expert told us that some countries are simply the wrong shape for it to ever work properly.

These revelations followed a disastrous Feng Shui makeover on a New Zealand home makeover show which lead to a series of unexplained deaths and wallpaper stains.

The house, in the south of Auckland, was 'rejiggled' by Feng Shui guru's Mel Helmott and Sheena Migburry, and, following their makeover, nothing worked properly, including the toaster.

A consulting Feng Shuist told this web site that it was probably due to the mountains which would 'bounce stuff of it'. Local mountaineer Geb Bush (no relation to the US president's brother) said that the mountains were big and rocky in these parts and if they 'buggered up' the Feng Shui he wouldn't be surprised.

After making inquires before publication of this expose*, we have discovered that this is a much more widespread problem, and not restricted to New Zealand at all.

We have discovered that Feng Shui may be broken in at least another 3 other countries.

Readers have told us that Feng Shui in Norway is close to useless because of the Fjords and crinkly coastline, with over five readers complaining that their televisions didn't work after being Feng Shuified.

Mavis Pumpernickel, a reader in Amsterdam, wrote in to complain that when it is stormy her Feng Shui laid out study becomes a death trap and she fears to use her stapler or letter opener.

If you have any Feng Shui experiences please contact us at

* Disclaimer: and all of its associates, writers and/or advertisers know nothing about Feng Shui, how it is spelt, pronounced, or what actually it is. Any inference that this is the case from this article should not be taken. has a very busy schedule and it is sometimes not possible for time constraints reasons to research any story even a little bit, but mostly at all. We do hope this does not spoil your enjoyment of this article, and that you will keep on coming back for more informative stuff from this web site.


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