theVoiceofReason.com
has discovered that, amongst the designer hats, stage equipment
and 'Broadway' items, Whitney Houston is trying to sell
off a church pew in her current auction. (Have a
look for yourself here).
But
what is it for?
It
doesn't seem to be Broadway equipment, because they've got
a section for that.
It
isn't marked as general stage equipment either, which also
might explain it.
It's
just a church pew, exactly like the one below. In fact this
is the actual picture from the auction site of it...
|
|
|
Church
pew being auctioned by Whitney Houston
|
Our
investigators have discovered that it could be a musical
instrument.
We
believe this because the church pew is displayed
on the web site between two musical instruments: a Vintage
Hammond Organ w/ Speaker and a Yamaha Professional Drum
Set:
 |
|
Genuine
screen shot from Whitney Houston Auction Web Site
|
A
spokespriest told us:
"It's
all very suspicious. I have never seen a church pew
being played as a musical instrument before."
But
that spokesman is completely wrong, we have since discovered.
We
can now reveal, for the first time on any web site in the
world, a group of middle-aged-to-elderly Whitney Houston
fans who actually do play church pews, like a musical instrument...
And
it's not pretty...
The
group in question go by the name of The Obese Naked Ass
Slappers Of Philadelphia (Whitney Houston Division),
and we have seen video footage of them slapping their naked
rears on hard surfaces (including church pews) to
Whitney Houston classics...
It's
yet another example of the sad decline in the fortunes of
Whitney Houston.
Another
mystery solved...
