A
32 year-old man who survived being swallowed head first up to his waist by a giant
killer shark before being spat out, is to receive counseling for rejection, we
have discovered.
An
expert in post traumatic shock told this web site:
"He
is suffering from a complex combination of survivor guilt and excruciating physical
pain around his waist and arms which will later mutate into a deep psychological
inadequacy because he might feel he was not tasty enough."
The
incident that happened in the sea somewhere, probably around Australia, we weren't
really listening that closely when the story was on the television last night,
has shocked the world and is believed to be the narrowest escape in shark munching
history.
A
person who has swam in the waters around Australia emailed us to say:
"Rarely
does a shark swallow that much of a human and then give up, it's very strange.
It's possible that the guy didn't taste very nice, and knowing that must hurt
almost as much as the giant teeth marks around his waist and arms."
In
related news: A group of High School students have asked to interview the
man as soon as possible to help them in their project on shark tonsils.
The
teacher from the school told out reporter:
"Few
people have witnessed shark tonsils on a live shark like
this fella. His comments would be very valuable."
