theVoiceofReason.com
Jan 5, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Joan Rivers Jewelry
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What Would 1980's Joan Rivers Say About Joan Rivers' Jewelry Collection Today?

Gold Encrusted Debate

The first we ever heard of Joan Rivers in the 1980's, she was ripping into celebs with no mercy... Something about burying Karen Carpenter in pleats, if memory serves (Karen Carpenter died of Anorexia). So, imagine our surprise when we saw Joan Rivers on QVC selling her own line of jewelry?

We wanted to know:

Is Joan Rivers a senile bitch, or business genius?

Our panel of experts give us their views... (Below is a cheesy quote from her website joanrivers.com.)

 
"All women deserve beautiful jewelry
My dream was to create a line of
affordable, classic pieces for today's
woman, timeless jewelry that doesn't go out of style. The Joan Rivers Classic Collection is that dream come true."
 
"Joan of the Jungle" Leopard Bee Pin
Joan of the Jungle, Leopard Bee Pin
"Joan Rivers is one of the most respected comediennes in the history of stand up. How dare you call the woman a 'senile bitch'. She clearly has completely sold out, but that is a sign of incredible business acumen in my opinion. Well done Joan, I'll have a Diamond Encrusted Napkin Ring for my nose, pronto!"
   
"Joan says on her website that she wanted to design jewelry that 'doesn't go out of fashion'. Doesn't it have to be in fashion in the first place for that sentence to be true? Personally I think if Joan can sell this stuff with a straight face, we only have the Botox to thank."
   

"Joan must be well into her 70's but still she has the skin of a 30 year old. Bravisimo Joan, and I'll have a Gold Encrusted Thimble Holder please! PS: I do hope the jewelry comes with that lovely crusty old person smell too!"

   
"Oh for fuksakes, Britney should be doing this, not some old would be crinkly but has a fantastic plastic surgeon comedienne! I would just love to see the bitch with her scalpel putting those jewels in, or is it all made in a factory in China?"
   
"I bought Joan's Classic Golden Apple And Carrot Tie Pin, and I must say I have never been happier. It certainly made this girl feel like a million dollars! I wonder if Joan Rivers has a spare million dollars to give me? Bet she does, selling this crap..."
   
"I bought a Joan Rivers charm bracelet and earring set for my ex-girlfriend. You should have seen her face! I for one didn't see the punch coming and when I regained consciousness my head was down the toilet!"

 

 

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