Our
investigations have discovered that Donald
Rumsfeld had a clone made of himself, and had installed
it in a senior position in the Pentagon just before he resigned.
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Rare
picture of Donald Rumsfeld and his Mini-Me clone during
happier times
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Management
of civilian personnel at the Pentagon quickly moved to redeploy
Mini Donald to the stationary department following Rumsfeld's
resignation; It was here that this web site came across
his existence.
A
worker at the Pentagon contacted us to describe an incident
involving a stapler requisition form:
Mini Donald was said to have become agitated when confronted
with the stationary requisition, and attempted to jump
out of his chair to grab the person around the neck after
being asked where he kept the staples.
Thankfully,
due to his size, Mini Donald fell head-first onto the
floor after coming down awkwardly on the table hitting
his little knees.
This
is not the only violent incident involving Mini Donald on
our files, but is the only incident we have so far corroborated.
Our
investigations continue into how many other clones are in
existence in the Bush White House.
Allegations
that Dick
Cheney is an actual clone of the original Cheney
who died three years into his first term in office persist.
A man in a darkened garage told us that the White House
chose to not tell anybody about this for security reasons,
as the country was at war at the time.
Questions
as to why Donald Rumsfeld chose to have a clone 1/8th his
size and not a fully sized one is unclear, but it could
be something to do with defense cuts at the time.
