theVoiceofReason.com
Oct 24, 2006
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World Exclusive: First Madonna Baby Interview

Baby Dave Talks Exclusively To VOR

theVoiceofReason.com is proud to present the first interview with baby David Banda Mwale Ciccone Richie, the newly adopted Madonna child.

We took along the internationally renowned baby mind reader James Spores, who provided the translation for us.

James Spores is a world leading baby and dog interpreter who is able to read the mind of children and many household pets.

The interview took place at a secret location at 2:35 in the afternoon.

VOR

Well thank you for the interview David, or Dave, can I call you Dave?

DB

Yes, call me Dave, that's cool.

VOR

So, Dave, what's it like to have a famous Momie?

DB

It's OK. Is it milk time yet? Oh, and guy, cut the patronizing tone hey? I wasn't born yesterday.

VOR

I think you're fed at 3 o'clock which gives us about 20 minutes for this interview.

DB

F***. I'm hungry.

VOR

What's it like to be adopted by one of the world's leading pop singing sensations?

DB

Ah, it's OK. There were a few couples after me. I used my eyes on Madge. I did that squinty-laughy thing with a bit of a tear in my left eye. She loved it. Surprisingly lined face close up, though.

VOR

What's your nursery like? Bet it's better than the orphanage in Malawi?

DB

Why? Because Malawi must be sh** because it's all crap in Africa, huh? F***in cheek. To be completely honest, mate, a cot's a cot. Took me a couple of days to adjust to the cold over here actually, but as long as they feed me and change my arse more than a couple of times a day I'm a happy bunny.

VOR

Entertainment Tomorrow magazine has voted you most likely Madonna child to become a dancer, your views?

DB

Haven't put much thought into a career just yet. I'm pretty much loaded now anyway, right? I mean, it's all about the connections the parents have got, isn't it? Anyway, according to the press, my birth Dad can't even remember having me adopted. How can you work with that? I don't know. To be honest, I'm glad to be out of there.

VOR

Is that an aircraft in your mobile? (Pointing above Dave's cot.)

DB

Yes it is. Look, not wishing to be rude, but isn't it eating time yet? I'm f***ing starving. And the arse could do with some attention too.

VOR

You seem to have picked up the English quickly?

DB

Oh yes. English. The easiest language in the world to learn, the hardest to master!! Ha ha. My vocabulary is, as you would probably expect, quite limited at the moment, but I get along. I put in a few 'f***s' here and there and it seems to work the crowd just nicely. Oh, is that my bottle? Gotta go, see ya!

 

At that point the interview, through the baby translation service of James Spores, concluded.

 

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