theVoiceofReason.com
July 3, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Superman Returns
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The Truth About Superman's Underpants Revealed

The great under and over pants debate...

Speculation over what Superman actually has on underneath his costume, given that he seems to put his underpants on over the top of it, has been circulating at Hollywood parties all week.

Could it be that everyone's favorite superhero doesn't bother with underpants at all? We decided to find out.

"It's just a gross thought," says Janey Hicklestone of Hollywood Super-Costumiers and Fancy Dress Supplies. "EEEEEEeeeee yuck!"

The super-experts we spoke to, however, say it is more likely that Superman puts underpants on underneath his costume.

So, this leads us to the inevitable question: Is Superman wearing two sets of underpants?

An anonymous costume maker told us:

"The overpants are just cosmetic, they don't function other than they just look great."

Our investigations have revealed this explanation to be only partially right.

We have uncovered new evidence, which we can reveal here for the very first time, that Superman's overpants have been designed specifically to hide his underpants:

"Superhero costume makers in Hollywood today are faced with an ever-growing challenge to hide superhero's underwear in this high definition wall-size screens in the home era of in-home entertainment," says Lady Jane "Bubbles" Carmichael III.

This could also explain some of the pictures of Brandon Routh with a bulge in that area, we have learned.

Experts in movie spin at the studio seem to have tried to claim that this bulge was CGI'd in, but experts in under and over-pants say otherwise:

"The problem with having underpants on under the costume and the overpants over them, is that you get a natural bunching up as the material in the underpants rub against the fabric of the costume and the overpants, which causes friction and a natural bulging out. It's a bit like a San Andreas fault in the groin area."

Despite this controversy, Superman Returns has become one of the biggest movie releases of all time with sales of underpants expected to rise more than 0.03% in some stores.

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