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Your Best Israel / Southern Lebanon Overreaction Analogies...
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Analogy
Armageddon
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In
order to stop a terrorist cell in southern Lebanon, Israel
has proceeded to flatten the country with bombs, killing
and injuring, in the process, hundreds of innocent women
and children...
We
asked our panel of experts to think up analogies to equal
this staggering overreaction...
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"A
teenager steals my car. I immediately steal a car
and try to crash into as many cars that look like
mine until I get my car back, or it is too damaged
to drive. Huzzah!"
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"I
am wet-shaving and the razor slips and I have a
nasty nick. It is bleeding. I go to the supermarket
where I bought the razor and give similar nicks
to all of the people entering and exiting the building
for at least the next 7 days."
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"Uhm.
Hic. I think I have one... I am playing kinky games
with my partner and I agree to be tied up and gagged
and have acts performed on me with a banana. Unfortunately,
my partner exceeds her remit and proceeds to perform
acts on me with a banana, an orange and a lemon.
As I am gagged I am powerless to direct her otherwise
until I am released from the restraint. Once released
from my restraint, I retaliate by bombing the fresh
fruit section of the local supermarket, hoping that
she is there at the time."
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"I
am applying lipstick to my kisser whilst riding
on the bus on the way to work. The driver intentionally
swerves and my lipstick continues on to my ear.
I go to the front of the bus and punch him in the
face whilst the bus is still going along the highway,
I keep punching until he is unable to drive the
bus any longer. Then, I presume, the bus will have
to crash a little. Once that is done, I would then
draw a similar lipstick line on his face to show
him what's what. My apologies to anyone else on
the bus who got injured or killed, but that's just
the risk you run when you take a bus these days."
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"My
neighbor kicks a football over into my garden. I retaliate
by shooting the captain of the local football team."
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"A
man with red hair punches me in the face whilst I
am walking down the street and then steals my wallet.
I get retribution by punching as many red haired men,
women and children as I can find until I get my wallet
back."
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You
are welcome to send in your analogies for inclusion on this
page if you want: editor@theVoiceofReason.com
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