June 18, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ USA At Risk Of Whole Team Sent Off

2006 World Cup: Ref Says "I Won't Hesitate To Send Whole USA Team Off"

Nuremberg Nonsense

A referee, who has asked us to keep his identity anonymous, fearing reprisals, but who may, or may not, have already sent three players off in a recent game involving the USA, has told this website that he is prepared to send the entire USA team off next time if even only mildly provoked.

The referee, who we will refer to as Heimlich Hosselflechtina IV, which is not his, or her, real name, has said that, in certain circumstances, he is willing to end the game in an avalanche of red cards.

The referee told us:

"Many refs get to the point and say 2 red cards a team and, after that, you need something exceptional to send the next player off."

"I say, no way. Two red cards? Blaaaa! I don't differentiate, a foul is a foul."

"I am even perfectly happy to red card the whole team just for entertainment purposes. I appreciate that I would become an immediate hate figure, but, on the other hand, it could be a whole lot of fun."

"If I were to send the entire USA team off next time, I could very well get a statue in my honor in a number of cities."

"I like the idea of slowly red carding the whole team. Just imagine it. Down to the last three players, then two and then, just imagine the look on the face of the last one! Hilarious."

"I could make a fortune from selling the rights to sports out-take clips alone. I would become a legend and would never have to work another day for the rest of my life."


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