May 8, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Why are local newspapers so popular?

Top Ten Reasons People Still Buy Local Newspapers

Official Countdown NOT

Why, oh why, oh why, do people still buy local newspapers?

Here's our top ten reasons we can think of:

It's a cheap lining for pet rabbit hutches (placed under the straw to soak up any rabbit juice.)
To swat flies with.

To blame for a cigarette addiction: People buy a local paper where they buy their cigarettes and then, while they are in the shop, buy some cigarettes as well, blaming the local paper for making them buy the cigarettes.

Those who are learning to read, like local newspapers because they rarely have any long words in them.
The local paper is a subterfuge for dogs in the house. The newspaper delivery boy is told to push the local paper through the door first so that the dog grabs it, and, then, the good paper is pushed through the door, which can then be collected without any doggy-bite and saliva marks on it.
To see embarrassingly cheesy photos of friends and colleagues.
It's something cheap to buy so people can go into a shop and get change for a large bill / note.
So that people who see you buy it, or those who see it when they come round to your home, think you care a fig about the local community.
For money off coupons.
It doesn't have a TV guide in it.


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