May 22, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ More Da Vinci secrets revealed

World Exclusive: Da Vinci's Real Name Was Doris

More new evidence reexamined...

In yesterday's exclusive report [here] we revealed, for the very first time on any web site in the world, that Leonardo Da Vinci was a woman who pretended to be a man so that she could get a job as an artist.

We showed compelling evidence that Da Vinci coded this fact into a number of his paintings, such as The Last Supper in which he made Saint John into a woman and put a V sign between Jesus and John (the V sign means woman because it looks like a vag**a).

We can exclusively reveal here, for the first time, that in Da Vinci's diaries that were written when she was 7 years of age, we come across repeated references to a Doris.

Excerpt from the Da Vinci diary:

"mummy del mummy del mummy! Non ho rimbalzato mai prima questo high!"

La madre ha guardato felicemente me ed ha detto: "Doris, non salta in modo da su colpirete la vostra testa!"

Translated into English:
"Mummy mummy mummy! I have never bounced this high before!"

Mother looked happily at me and said: "Doris, don't jump so high you'll hit your head!"

Excerpt from the Da Vinci diary:

Non è un wonder, padre, che un'ape di bumble può volare così? Immagini appena quanto buon sarebbe affinchè un uomo voli con gli uccelli!

Sì, Doris, ma gli uomini è molto più pesanti delle api. Volontà ha bisogno delle ale il formato delle montagne!

Translated into English:
Isn't it a wonder, father, that a bumble bee can fly so? Just imagine how good it would be for a man to fly with the birds!

Yes, Doris, but men are much heavier than bumble bees. They will need wings the size of mountains!

We showed our evidence to a man who told us that he was convinced that the person being addressed in both of these excerpts, was a girl named Doris and not a boy called Leonardo.

Thus finally dismantling the ages old conspiracy that Leonardo Da Vinci was a man.

Conspiracy Clinic
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