May 12, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Barneynapping

Whitehouse's Barney Given Own Guard Dog

Presidential Pet Nap Terror Threat

Whitehouse security has confirmed to this website that the president's dog, Barney, has been given his own guard dog.

Barney with guard dog
Barney being protected by the FBI's 'Helmet'

A spokesman told us:

"Pet theft is a growing concern around the world. We had a credible threat that Barney was being targeted by suspicious looking men outside the perimeter of the Whitehouse grounds with hooks on the ends of very long sticks."

"The last thing we need, in these times of 'terror round every corner', is a president so worried about his petnapped dog that he can't concentrate on the affairs of State."

Barney's guard dog, Helmet, is a specially cloned "Growling German Shnitzell"; Helmet is a fully decorated FBI officer specially trained for pet theft and can fit it's protectee in its mouth and 'run like the wind' in the event of a petnapping attempt.


Did you know?:

Dog-napping is almost exclusively confined to small yappy type or short fluffy dogs under 20 pounds.

In Australia there are no known instances of Crocodilenapping.

A tortoise can never be pet napped because it carries it's home on it's back and so is never out of the house.

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