From
our Entertainment reporter, Macy Blue:
 |
| Location
of (formerly) Secret Wedding |
You
join me, here, in Namibia, within comfortable binocular viewing distance of the
Burning Shore beach lodge in Langstrand, Walvis Bay.
The
weather is sunny, and the birds are singing as if to chirp: "The entertainment
marriage of the year is only a toot and a pip away!!!" Yes, dear readers,
I can confirm that I am about to report that Brad Pitt has finally married
Angelina Jolie, and will do so the very second that word comes to me from
my undercover sources inside the building."
As
you might expect, security has been tight, here at the Lodge, ever since Brad
and Angelina secretly booked into the Honeymoon suite two weeks ago and made discreet
inquires about where they could buy one of those multi-layered wedding cakes with
figurines on top.
As
I stand here, looking at the hotel through binoculars, I
can see nothing of what is going on inside, other than the security blinds put
up to stop the undeniable certainty that a wedding is about to take place.
All
I can say, so far, is that it is impossible to imagine that no preparations are
being made for the couple to wed, and to fly-in family members from across the
world for the gorgeously white-silky and smart be-top-hatted ceremony.
Everyone
who enters and exits the hotel is sworn to secrecy, but, by the looks on the faces
of those going in and out, something big is clearly happening inside.
One
of the hotel maids winked in my general direction to confirm, "Brad and Angelina
are inside and are about to get married", before a heavily set security guard
approached and she scurried off before her eyes could give me any more details
on what is The Entertainment Story Of The Year.
It,
surely, can only be a matter of hours, now, until I can report that Angelina,
covered from head to foot in Egyptian silk, woven by the Emperor's own silk worms,
was kissed on her kissing lips by be-top hatted Pitt, handsome in black dinner
suit and shiny shoes, to bring to a conclusion the most anticipated marriage since,
ironically, that of Rachel (Pitt's former wife) and Ross in Friends.
Until
I can report anything else I will be here watching the bricks and mortar of this
hotel looking for clues. (Oh, look, a dog is cocking it's leg. Ew!)
More
to follow.
Earlier
reports of imminent marriage off the coast of Italy.
