theVoiceofReason.com
Mar 24, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Ultimate Twitness
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So, How Dangerous Is New Workout DVD: 'Ultimate Fightness'?

"Feel the burn, give the burn, submit the bum"

A violent fitness DVD launched last week by a former Ultimate Fighter, The Grill-Spit-And-Bruiseinator, known as Greg Thomas outside the Octagon, has been widely criticized by the two health experts we bothered to contact for a comment.

The DVD, "Ultimate Fightness", uses some of the more dangerous Ultimate Fighting moves in one of the latest fitness DVD's to hit the supermarket shelves.

The workout uses popular Ultimate Fighting moves, such as the rear naked choke (strangulation from behind), the guillotine (where you grab someone's neck from the front by climbing on top of their shoulders and then try to pull their head off until they submit) and the armbar (bend someone's arm against the elbow join until it snaps, or they submit).

Thomas told this webpaper:

"This workout is perfectly safe as long as all workout partners are aware of the dangers involved and don't actually want to kill or maim each other in the first place."

"Everyone doing the Ultimate Fightness DVD should ensure that their workout partners can hear properly, speak English, and aren't sado masochists who like to inflict pain and especially get turned on if you shout out in agony, but that's true for most things in life."

At the time of going to press the workout has been banned in all US penetentiaries, and prisons in the UK.

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Other unsuccessful workout DVD's based on sports include:

The rugby workout (too much sticking your head between fat men's thighs for most people).

The Badminiton workout (worked out the wrist wonderfully but not much else)

The full contact boxing workout (current death count 234).

 

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