Washington
DC, USA:
The Supreme Court has ruled that a White House policy group is permitted to drink
the controversial hallucinogenic Hoasca Tea when 'trying to develop
a new strategy to deal with the escalating crisis in Iraq'.
The
tea, from the Amazon in Brazil, enables users to understand things on 'a higher
level of consciousness', or so our dealer assures us.
A
spokesman for the Bush administration told this website:
"The
psychoactive beta-carboline alkaloids harmine, harmaline, and tetrahydroharmine,
contained in the Hoasca Tea,
help me think more fully, man. It's, like, a complete necessity in understanding
the ramifications of our ongoing policy position in the Middle East with specific
interest in the short-term consequences of a more... oh, sorry, I've forgotten
what I'm talking about, where was I?"
Another
White House official, speaking on behalf of the group, told us:
"The
tea helps free our souls from corporeal confinement and facilitates access to
the realms of alternate reality, allowing for a variety of magical experiences,
including accessing communication with the spirits of earlier administrations,
heavy dude man."
The
policy group is believed to be particularly interested in speaking with Richard
Nixon and John F Kennedy.
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In
other news: We have been asked to point out that yesterday's story: Pepsi To
Bring Out New Hoasca Flavor Soft Drink was factually wrong on a number
of levels, including the main claim that George Bush prefers Pepsi to Coca Cola.
