From
our satire war reporter, Ed Furrow,
War
Satiritorial
You
join me, here, crouched under a table in the offices of theVoiceofReason.com,
one of the world's largest western news satire sites, scared to get a cup of coffee
and fearful of leaving the office to get bagels or croissants as it is possible
that the world's first satire world war is about to kick-off fully and in earnest
at any moment.
In
these tense prewar days, there is one thing that is clear:
This
will be a war drawn like no other that mankind has ever seen.
Dangerous
bombs of wit and bile thrown across country and faith, in magazines and on the
internet, in cartoon form and using the method of the written word.
The
world's bow-ey type faiths set against the pray-ey type ones.
Young
people across the world who, previously, had no interest in learning grammar,
syntax and spelling, all rushing to come to the defense of their country, or faith,
in one of the biggest comedy calls-to-arms the world has ever seen.
Whilst
at this stage of the conflict it is dangerous to speculate, one thing is clear:
this war, the world's first fully satirical war, will be one of the most viciously
witty wars mankind has ever seen.
Caricatures
of such evil detail they will burn themselves on to a world's eyeballs.
Witty
headlines of such devil turns-of-phrase they will catch whole nations off-guard.
Our
proud armies of men and women in tanks on the streets around the world, today
are defenseless against an expected tirade of wit and satire and cartoons and
murals the likes of which have never been hurled, drawn or spray-painted before.
- Governments
around the world will, no doubt, even as we speak, be considering the draft for
all people blessed with the 'gift of satire'.
- Armies
of cartoonists will be kept on-hand ready to fight back with incisive wit at the
shortest notice.
- Barracks
will be filled with humor writers working to decode the enemy's wit before it
destroys morale or reduces an entire nation to an hilarious gibbering lump on
the carpet.
Remember,
readers, that this war could be won with the smallest of wits. Even the most insignificant
of jokes or puns could help your country...
YOUR
COUNTRY NEEDS YOU!
theVoiceofReason.com
promises its readers that we will be at the forefront in reporting developments
in this satire war, apart from printing any of the actual cartoons or even describing
them in much detail because we don't want to get rioted on or put into prison...
