Feb 14, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ VP Alert

White House On Alert As Dick Cheney 'On The Loose'

"We Are Taking No Chances on Cheney"

Vice President Dick Cheney set off a security alert in the White House this morning after an intern reported he was missing, we can now report.

An eyewitness told this webpaper:

"Security agents swooped into the building after an intern was heard to scream:

'Where's Mr Cheney?'

'Mr Cheney is missing!'

One of the agents that ran into the building then spoke into his radio: 'Bald Shooter is on the loose, I repeat, Bald Shooter is missing.'

The sirens went off and the lighting went down to emergency power."

Security processes in the White House have been amended following an incident at the weekend in which the Vice President shot a man in the head.

The security alert lasted no more than four minutes.

Dick Cheney was found in his personal Rest Room, nobody was injured, although he had used a surprisingly large amount of toilet paper, we have been told.

A spokesman for White House security told our reporter:

"We are taking no chances at the moment. We are on a high level of alert."

"We have suspended visits by ex VP Dan Quayle just to be on the safe-side. We will review that policy once the quail shooting season ends."

In other news

We have been asked to apologize for our suggestion, yesterday, that the announcement of Dick Cheney's shooting incident was delayed in the hope that it would make the headlines rather than the release of a report, released yesterday, which said that the White House were a 'bunch of complete gibbering idiots' during Hurricane Katrina.


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