Vice President
Dick Cheney set off a security alert in the White House this morning after an
intern reported he was missing, we can now report.
An
eyewitness told this webpaper:
"Security
agents swooped into the building after an intern was heard to scream:
'Where's Mr Cheney?'
'Mr
Cheney is missing!'
One
of the agents that ran into the building then spoke into his radio: 'Bald
Shooter is on the loose, I repeat, Bald Shooter is missing.'
The
sirens went off and the lighting went down to emergency power."
Security
processes in the White House have been amended following an incident at the weekend
in which the Vice President shot a man in the head.
The
security alert lasted no more than four minutes.
Dick
Cheney was found in his personal Rest Room, nobody was injured, although he had
used a surprisingly large amount of toilet paper, we have been told.
A
spokesman for White House security told our reporter:
"We
are taking no chances at the moment. We are on a high level of alert."
"We
have suspended visits by ex VP Dan Quayle just to be on the safe-side. We will
review that policy once the quail shooting season ends."
| In
other news |
We
have been asked to apologize for our suggestion, yesterday,
that the announcement of Dick Cheney's shooting incident was delayed in the hope
that it would make the headlines rather than the release of a report, released
yesterday, which said that the White House were a 'bunch of complete gibbering
idiots' during Hurricane Katrina. |
