Jan 3, 2006
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ New Year Resolutions 2006

Our Readers Tell Us Their New Year's Resolutions

BP, USA: "I must finally make an honest woman out of Angelina. Marriage by June, I promise."

TT, Oregon: "I want to lose enough weight so that I am no longer morbidly obese. Down to grossly overweight would be just peachy!"

NM, Hungary: "Every time I fart in public I will say pardon to anyone in earshot - including to deaf people, even though it will take a long time to explain to them what I have just done."

DS, Sydney: "I'm going to surf only on weekend afternoons so that I can spend much more time showing off my ripped physique on the beach."

JL, Michigan: "I'm going to finally confess to the serial killing spree I've been enjoying since 1987. Happy Days!"

GB, Washington: "I'm going to cut down on my drinking. This year, less than 7 pints of beer a day, and take more notice when hurricanes hit New Orleans."

MP, London: "I'm Practically Perfect In Every Way so I do not intend to make any changes whatsoever, although, come to think of it, I do need a new umbrella. Spick Spot!"

HP, Hogwarts: "I'm going to try contact lenses this year to get on better with the laydees..."

XYZ, NewsAgency: "If there is a tragedy and we report that nobody died, better make sure to confirm that nobody actually did die before we tell everyone that nobody died."

Your resolution can go here (if it's funny, or you are famous). Click here.


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