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Dec 13, 2005
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Performances of 'Ding Dong Merrily On High' Carol Put On 'Gloria' Alert

Festive Gloria Terror Threat

Christian carol singers have been told to be on-guard when singing the popular carol 'Ding Dong Merrily On High', as fears, that extremists have infiltrated carol groups in an attempt to 'undermine' Christmas celebrations, grow.

A police spokesman explained:

'The dangerous part of the carol is the Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis line. We have reliable evidence that terrorists are planning to make the word Gloria go on for up to 35 minutes in some public performances. If this were to happen, carol concerts could overrun substantially which could undermine Christmas celebrations throughout the world. It's a fiendish plan.'

Danger Song
Ding dong merrily on high,
In heav'n the bells are ringing:
Ding dong! verily the sky
Is riv'n with angel singing.

Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!
Ding Dong Merrily

The Gloria Society, which annually attempts to legitimately break its own record for the longness of the word Gloria in an otherwise ordinary performance of the carol Ding Dong Merrily on High, have been told to 'button it' by authorities or run the risk of being 'belted-up' by police in full festive riot gear.

The Gloria Society came to fame for managing to keep the word Gloria going for over 25 minutes in a televised performance in 1998.

Example of how the terrorized carol may sound:

Ding dong merrily on high,
In heav'n the bells are ringing:
Ding dong! verily the sky
Is riv'n with angel singing.
Glooooooooooooo oooooooo oooooooo oooooooooo oooooo ooooooo oooooooo oooooooo ooooooo oooooo oooooo oooooo-oooo-ooooo ooooooo ooooo ooooo oooo ooo oo ooooooooooooooo ooooooo oooooo oooo ooooooo ooo oo o ooooo-o-o oooooooo ooooooo oooooo

ooo-ooo-o ooooooooooooo

ooooooo ooooo oooo ooo ooo ooo

ooo oo ooooo ooooooo oooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo oooooo ooooo oooo oooooo -o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o oooo -o-o-o-o-o-o-oooo--ooo---oooooo ooooo ooo ooo oooo oooo ooo

ii iiiii iiii

oo oooooooooo ooo ooooooo ooooo ooooo oooooooo oooooooooooo oooooooooo oooooo ooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooo oooooooooo ooo oooo ooo ooo ooo oooooooo ooo ooo oo ooo ooo ooo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-ooooo ooo oooo....

(etc)

ria, Hosanna in excelsis!
 
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