Oct 10, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Katie and Tom Pregnant

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Another Apology


We have been asked to point out that our story regarding the impending pregnancy of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, published earlier this week, had a number of errors in it.

1) It is Katie Holmes who is pregnant and not Tom Cruise.

2) Tom Cruise is a member of the Church of Scientology and not The Church of Sociology.

3) Tom Cruise is not 4ft 2 as our article implied. He is at least 5ft 6, possibly taller, depending on whether he is sitting down or not.

4) Tom Cruise starred as the lead in the motion picture 'Rain man' and not the adult porn movie 'Gay man in the rain'.

5) Our article reported that Tom Cruise, responding to our question "How do you feel about Katie being pregnant with you child?" said the following:

"Yes. I'm happy. Life is great. Really. Happy, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee yes yes man yep hey weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. High Five. No. Come. On! Lift your hand up. Aren't you happy? Look. At. My. Face. Life is just great. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee aaaaaaaaa iiiiiiiiiiiii ooooooooo eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee"

No such quote was ever offered, no High Five was given and he didn't jump up and down on any furniture punching the air with either his left or right arms.

We have made a small donation to a Church of Scientology roof repair fund, and have agreed not to repeat any of our unfounded reporting again.


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