Oct 24, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Reporting From A Hurricane

'Hurricane Wilma Is Sure Making My Bedrock', Reporting Live From The Scene

And the conditions outside my 5 star hotel room are...

Hello. You join me here on the telephone as Hurricane Wilma hurls stuff outside my hotel room. I have had to come inside and I can't now open the door to my balcony because the wind is just so strong.

The gales outside are now really really strong. Trees bending. Rain pummelling down. The sound is immense and frightening.

Only thirty minutes ago I managed to do a brief piece to camera outside in front of bendy trees. My cameraman had to be strapped to the side of the hotel to stop him being hurled into the terrible wind that is Hurricane Wilma, the most devastating hurricane I have ever reported live from.

You will have to forgive me if the power goes off during this report as the conditions outside my hotel room, are awful. I can't actually see outside my hotel window any more because I have been told to stay away from the windows in case they are shattered by the immensity of the awesome, horrifying death inducing winds outside.

In fact all I can see are the reports on television from my hotel room and it looks absolutely horrible out there.

How on earth people not in five star hotels like me cope in hurricanes like this I dare not even think about...

One hour later:

Welcome back. You join me here as I play Monopoly with my cameramen, sound recordist, director and three researchers. Thankfully the electricity has not gone out yet. This storm is as absolutely terrible as they said it would be.

Wind strewn trees outside and wetness gurgling and rampaging all over the place, or so I would assume as I am still not allowed anywhere near the windows of my 5 star hotel room. It still continues to look absolutely horrible on television, though.

The mini bar is almost empty now, but thankfully someone thought of going down to the Off Licence last night to stock up on drinkies and nibbles and sandwiches. But we only have enough food to last us about another 5 days, although it looks like room service hasn't been effected yet by the storms outside. I even managed to book a wake up call for the morning, five minutes ago....

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