latest trick or treat conditions in our up to the minute coverage...
Scarecast: USA East
wave of witches on broomsticks will dominate the peak trick or treat evening tonight,
coming in from the north east bringing with it scattered outbreaks of candy based
generosity, especially in the New Jersey and Delaware areas. Pumpkins, predominantly
lanterns and not soup in form, are set to pepper the upper Eastern half of the
country. A witch gale advisory continues in place for the Michigan and Ohio states
but possibly not until after 8pm in most parts.
the south east, pedophile's will be lurking round the corner, possibly hiding
behind pumpkins or using them as a disguise, but will be shortly confronted by
a benevolent stream of witches quickly moving in to control the situation in an
aunt or older sisterly type way.
Scarecast: USA West
or treaters should enjoy fine conditions in most of California with some of the
best trick conditions seen since 1983 in most parts after a policy of shackling
and locking up of sex offenders continued until about 3 this morning.
on your guard for isolated pedophile outbreaks in the Mid Texas and Northern Arizona
areas which will be tempered, once again, by a wave of large boned witches now
armed with winter vegetables coming in from the south east. Satellite reports
confirm some of the lowest 'poison in candy' conditions witnessed in most
parts for three years and possibly since 1924 in some low-lying areas.
and Oregon could have some of the best pumpkining weather since the great pumpkin
season of 1998 with soup and raw stick dips being favored over lanterning and
even hot dogs in some parts.
has some of the best conditions in the south of Europe for witchery and wizarding
events since 1954.
wave of pumpkining is expected to come in from the Denmark and Norway areas, setting
the trend for most of the north of Europe. However, bobing for apples is set fair
with a 3-7% chance of razor blades.
scattered paedophile outbreaks in the Midlands and East Anglia areas of England,
Northern France, Spain and mid Portugal, possibly including but not limited to
the Lisbon district, with offenders being tempered by a lack of colour co-ordination
and oversized hats.
Scotland and Northern Ireland are under a pumpkin 'storm from the skies'
advisory throughout the evening.
a lighter note, men with pitchforks, coming out of the Paris area, will be mainly
benevolent in nature especially when roaming in groups of 7 to 9.
As was the case last year, the best trick or treat conditions remain in the east
of Europe with the Ukraine continuing to bask in it's post Eurovision glow.