Bundestag,
Berlin: Votes are still being counted in the German election.
The
result is so close that the controversial Unsociable Democratic Party could
control the Bundestag.
The
two main policies of the Unsociable Democratic Party is to have a German
police force to supervise the laying of it's citizen's towels on beach lounger's,
and the promotion of Sauerkraut to the same international status as pickled eggs.
The
counting continues.
Apology:
We
would like to apologize to Gerhad Schroeder (SDP) for making comments about the
color of his hair, which we described as looking 'like it had been lacquered on
with an industrial paint sprayer'. We are happy to report that Mr Schroeder's
hair is a completely natural Saab Midnight Black. We have paid a substantial sum
of damages to Mr Schroeder's chosen charity, Guide Rotweiler's for the Blind.
Another
apology:
Also,
we have been asked to clarify that Angela Merkel's (CDP) name is pronounced An-G-ela
Merkel and not An-j-ela Merkel that we reported yesterday. We have agreed to pay
a small sum of damages to a cake shop of Mrs Merkel's choosing.
