Sept 20, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Top Ten Horror

Top Ten Reasons VHS is Still Better Than DVD

Top Ten Technology Special

As a tribute to the death of VHS video cassettes, we present the top ten reasons VHS diehards have for not going over to DVD yet...


In VHS, fast forward and rewind produces a nice and homely squeak coming from the fast rotating reels of tape. DVD's are suspiciously silent when doing this - what have they got to hide?


Fitness: Fine tuning your tracking on VHS requires patience, determination, but gives you a good workout at the same time if you have lost the remote control. Mostly, video players are near the ground, requiring strong knees and back when bending down to floor level where the buttons are...


Rewinding a tape at the end of the movie gives you a sense of satisfaction, a bit like recycling bottles or plastic containers.

VHS tapes can be thrown at stray cats or people who annoy you. They are defiantly bulky and can startle most things. DVD's are too lightweight to use offensively, they glide effeminately through the air when flung, they may even return to you if thrown like a Frisbee.
Excitement: VHS keep you on your toes. Video tapes can chew up in the player with little or no warning, but if you press stop in time it can prevent permanent damage to the player as well as the cassette.
VHS have none of those annoying directors commentaries, or other in-movie features you can't work out how to turn off. You put the cassette in the player, fast forward to the start of the feature and press play, what could be simpler?
Stop a VHS video tape, remove it from the player, and you know exactly where it will start when you put it back in the machine and press play again. DVDs on principle never start in the same place twice, or you have to remember the exact scene number to resume.
DVDs probably degrade over time just like VHS but they haven't told us that yet...

Recycling: If you have a VHS tape with something on that you don't like, even if you bought it prerecorded, you can block up the tab and record over it in an instant, no problems...


When angry, there is nothing more satisfying than pulling a VHS cassette apart. Start by unlatching the tape protector and then grab hold of the tape and pull, and pull, and pull until you have a crinkly mess of tape. Brilliant therapy. DVD's are even difficult to snap in half.


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