We
have been inundated with your suggestions for the next head of FEMA, thank you.
Below
are the five best suggestions sent in.
We
have forwarded your nominations to the White House.
 | Burt
Threadallshaw has lived in New Orleans since January 1995. He is a professional
fish and seal impersonator and has been banned from taking the New Orleans tourist
bus 17 times. "I would have helped the residents of New Orleans by driving
my Chevy to the Levee to make sure it was dry." |
 | Psycho
Dave loves nothing better than covering himself in blood and fish fingers
and running naked through fields. He met George Bush once during his drinking
years and has the pictures to prove it. He says he would have helped residents
of New Orleans in the immediate aftermath of Katrina by banning fireworks and
underwater saloon bar singing. |
 | Mimi
Verstantpollen IV doesn't know who George Bush is, but he fell into
a bush once when he was young. He says he is qualified to head up FEMA because
he has great comedy timing. |
 | Henry
is the great great grandson of the chimp on television's Tarzan. He never misses
an episode of the A-Team. Henry says he would have released all of the unused
supplies of complimentary bar nuts to those in need in the immediate aftermath
of Katrina. |
 | Mervyn
Polkadike is a successful Sean Penn impersonator who likes nothing better
than to turn up after disasters to complain about the government to television
reporters. His immediate solution in the wake of Katrina was to airdrop snorkels
and flippers. |
Please
send your nominations to editor@thevoiceofreason.com
