Aug 21, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ More Combs Controversy

Librarians In Uproar Over Sean Combs' Latest Name Change To Diddy

Name timeline: Puff Daddy... Puffy... P Diddy... Diddy... has been made aware of dissension in the ranks of librarians across the world following Sean Combs' latest name change from P Diddy to just Diddy, which may mean that some librarians will refuse to file his work correctly.

Our researchers have uncovered a growing resentment amongst librarians that Sean Combs' frequent name changes are designed to make their collective lives 'a living hell', with the star's work now possibly being filed in 5 different but correct places.

"It's a complete disaster", a librarian from Charlottesville, Indiana, told us. "Even a small change from Diddy, P to just Diddy is about 500 items away on our shelves. I'm not sure what we are going to do."

Extremist Librarian Group, Librarians Against Being Mucked About, a movement dedicated to stopping people like Combs making their lives 'disordered', have condemned Combs' latest move, suggesting that it is a thinly veiled attempt to destroy librarianship and replace it with muddle.

At LABMA's annual conference, to be held in 11 days time, a motion is to be voted on which, if passed, will mean that Puff Daddy, Puffy, P Diddy and now Diddy will all have to be filed under C, for Combs (we assume), or not be filed at all, a move previously thought to be unthinkable.

A librarian, who has asked to remain anonymous, agreed to help us understand the problem faced by librarians following Combs' multiple name changes:

"Well, as you know, Combs started off as Puff Daddy. Now, as this was a person's name, we filed it under Daddy, Puff."

"Then he changed his name to Puffy. There was uproar to this because from Daddy to Puffy is 12 whole alphabetical positions to the right!"

"In retrospect this was when the trouble really started. This was a clear attack on librarianship and modern indexing theory, but librarians are not a typically militant body so we sort of just decided to let it go. We should have taken a sterner line then, but we didn't, unfortunately."

"So what we agreed to do was re index Daddy, Puff to Puff-Daddy so that it was closer to Puffy, the new name."

"Then he went and changed his name to P Diddy, which, as you know, should be filed under Diddy, P."

"There was almost a riot in librarianship circles because the new name was 12 whole alphabet points back the other direction from Puffy which we in our library had only finished indexing about 3 weeks before the latest name change."

"We decided, and in light of later developments this has caused us a big headache, to not file P Diddy under Diddy, P but under P-Diddy. (It helps larger libraries to keep all of the artist's work under P, and the precedent was set under Puff-Daddy as we saw earlier.)"

"Now, the bastard (I'm sorry, don't print that), has now quite literally taken the P out of his name and we are now back to square one. Every darn thing has got to be re-filed under D for Diddy. It's a complete disgrace! Has the man no shame?"

"Sean Combs is lucky that there is anyone left to index his work at this rate. If he does this again I'm not sure what is going to happen."

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