theVoiceofReason.com
has been made aware of dissension in the ranks of librarians across the world
following Sean Combs' latest name change from P Diddy
to just Diddy, which may mean that some librarians
will refuse to file his work correctly.
Our
researchers have uncovered a growing resentment amongst librarians that Sean Combs'
frequent name changes are designed to make their collective lives 'a living hell',
with the star's work now possibly being filed in 5 different but correct places.
"It's
a complete disaster", a librarian from Charlottesville, Indiana, told us.
"Even a small change from Diddy, P to
just Diddy is about 500 items away on our
shelves. I'm not sure what we are going to do."
Extremist
Librarian Group, Librarians Against Being Mucked About, a movement dedicated
to stopping people like Combs making their lives 'disordered', have condemned
Combs' latest move, suggesting that it is a thinly veiled attempt to destroy librarianship
and replace it with muddle.
At
LABMA's annual conference, to be held in 11 days time, a motion is to be
voted on which, if passed, will mean that Puff Daddy,
Puffy, P Diddy
and now Diddy will all have to be filed under
C, for Combs (we assume), or not be filed at all, a move previously thought to
be unthinkable.
A
librarian, who has asked to remain anonymous, agreed to help us understand the
problem faced by librarians following Combs' multiple name changes:
"Well,
as you know, Combs started off as Puff Daddy.
Now, as this was a person's name, we filed it under Daddy,
Puff."
"Then
he changed his name to Puffy. There was uproar
to this because from Daddy to Puffy
is 12 whole alphabetical positions to the right!"
"In
retrospect this was when the trouble really started. This was a clear attack on
librarianship and modern indexing theory, but librarians are not a typically militant
body so we sort of just decided to let it go.
We should have taken a sterner line then, but we didn't, unfortunately."
"So
what we agreed to do was re index Daddy, Puff
to Puff-Daddy so that it was closer to Puffy,
the new name."
"Then
he went and changed his name to P Diddy, which,
as you know, should be filed under Diddy, P."
"There
was almost a riot in librarianship circles because the new name was 12 whole alphabet
points back the other direction from Puffy
which we in our library had only finished indexing about 3 weeks before the latest
name change."
"We
decided, and in light of later developments this has caused us a big headache,
to not file P Diddy under Diddy,
P but under P-Diddy. (It helps
larger libraries to keep all of the artist's work under P, and the precedent was
set under Puff-Daddy as we saw earlier.)"
"Now,
the bastard (I'm sorry, don't print that), has now quite literally taken the P
out of his name and we are now back to square one. Every darn thing has got to
be re-filed under D for Diddy. It's a complete
disgrace! Has the man no shame?"
"Sean
Combs is lucky that there is anyone left to index his work at this rate. If he
does this again I'm not sure what is going to happen."
