theVoiceofReason.com
June 9, 2005
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Russell Crowe Defended By Telephone Sex Lovers

Telephone-sex

Russell Crowe may have set 'telephone-sex' back to pre-9/11 levels following his outburst in a New York hotel this week, according to new research completed following the movie star's appearance on the Letterman Show, 30 minutes ago.

It is alleged that Crowe threw a telephone, which hit a hotel concierge, because the phone system didn't work when he tried to phone his wife.

It is not known, at present, whether clearly frustrated Crowe was phoning his wife for 'telephone-sex' or just a quick chat about the weather, bills or what she's having for dinner.

If, at trial, it is proven that the star was attempting 'telephone-sex', this could be the first incident of 'telephone-sex' assault ever recorded.

An expert on hotel fixtures and fittings, who is aware of Crowe's violent temper, told this paper that other residents of the hotel may have had a lucky escape:

"Luckily the telephone wasn't fixed to the wall or he could have pulled the whole hotel down."

 

In other Russell Crowe news:

Rumours are circulating in internet chat rooms that Crowe has been penciled in to star in Anger Management 3, The Telephone Repair Guy, and Phone Alone. We couldn't be bothered to phone his agent to see if this was true or not.

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