theVoiceofReason.com
May 31, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Boring Vegetable Special
Spoof

The World's Least Sexy Vegetables Revealed (with Pictures)

Safe For Work Vegetables...

Today we pay tribute to a class of vegetables you will never find in sexy ice cream commercial's...

...foodstuffs you will never see helping to advertise underwear...

Today we salute the world's unsexiest vegetables:

6
Mini-Tomato: To some this is a controversial choice as a normal sized tomato is widely regarded as being highly erotic when viewed in cross-section. However this is one of those really small dinky tomatoes that you buy 30 to a box in the supermarket, nothing bigger than 2 cm across...
5
Celery: Horribly stringy and few smooth edges and even when there are smooth edges they are all the wrong way around. Sorry Mr Celery, you aint hot at all. But on the positive side, you are nice and crunchy, well done for that matie!
4
Rhubarb: There is of course the old argument over whether rhubarb is a fruit or vegetable, but as far as this survey is concerned who cares? Rhubarb is just not sexy in the slightest. Long sticks of squarish red with an oversized ugly leaf at the top! Ugh!
3
Peas: The common garden pea is simply too small to be erotic, even when in their pods they lack that essential ability to make you think naughty thoughts... Peas are a safe bet on the dinner tables of all but the most prudish!
2
Spinach: Popeye made this vegetable sexy but only when he ate it and became big and strong... the vegetable itself is lacking of any form of sensuality, or from-a-distance-look-of-hairyness that make things like cress too sexy for our chart...
1
Potato: Top of the bottom of the sexy charts is the potato. Horribly stumpy and stubbly on the outside and, when cut in cross-section, looks just like nothing... The only saving grace for the potato is that you can use it to sculpt erotic things with a knife... But let's face it everyone remembers Mr Potato Head as a child and just that thought alone is enough to turn everyone off... unless you like big red noses and oversized eyeglasses...

 

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