To
coincide with the Disney movie release of the Douglas Adams classic, Hitchhiker's
Guide To The Galaxy, we are offering readers the chance to display their own
awful Vogon Poetry in a controlled environment...
The
rules are simple. The poetry must be at least in an English language dialect and
be no more than 6 lines in length.
The
entries we have received so far are below, if you think you can do worse, e-mail
it to editor@theVoiceofReason.com.
I
Ache, I Feel Like The World Is Spinning. Pass Me the Phone Book With Une Glass
of Vin d'Rouge? by Henry Bedfellows,
Glasgow |
Ooooohh!
Leg, you hurt me like that Alicante car hire we once tried! Budget
rental of our nightmares! The steering wheel made my prostrate cancer worse... Now
I know why they were so adamant to get my credit card number and expiration date
to begin with: Driving
the car was like being drunk and at the wheel without any of the advantages of
being pissed.... Oh Camp down races sing this song doo dar, doo dar..... |
Or
this thing:
Cheap
Housing of the 1960's gave me mesothelioma by
Brenda Thurguttle, Sheffield |
So,
you are a mesothelioma
lawyer? You look more like a golf caddyman to me Tanned
and fit and wearing a big floppy hat knitted out of a goat(that goes oink!)'s
hair. Or
are you selling cheap life insurance, 'just sign on the dotted line' as they say? You
certainly have the baldness for it.... slap head... |
Ever
been on one of those timeshare vacation thingies they advertise on the internet?
The essence of this is caught perfectly in this Vogon timeless classic:
Oh,
Cheapest Car hire in Malaga, Why Didn't You Let Us Down As Your Reputation Seemed
To Guarantee? by
Dan Crush, Aberystwyth |
We
didn't have any home equity loans all ready to buy our timeshare! No time! Cheap
life and health insurance was forgotten, too, of course. However,
your damn blurgy hired car got us to the timeshare on time to meet our
appointment! Damn You! And
then we couldn't get away for 17 hours while they tried to sell us something... Our
bottoms sang: 'oooooooooo hhhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaarrr gggggggggghhh!!! hhhhheeeeee
iiiii oooooo ppppll!!!' |
Send
your funny Vogon poetry to editor@thevoiceofreason.com
