theVoiceofReason.com
April 20, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Revenge of the Sith Popcorn
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Revenge of The Sith Merchandising Special: The Official Popcorn Holder

Revenge of the Munchies

Star Wars 3 (/6) Revenge of the Sith is the first PG movie to get a special popcorn guidance rating in movie theater's, we can reveal*.

The long awaited prequel sequel is said to be so dark'n'scary in places that movie go'ers are in danger of showering those around them with popcorn at any time.

To avoid the danger of in-cinema popcorn eruption, theater's have been told to only sell popcorn in special officially licensed Revenge of the Sith popcorn containers which are fitted with a hinged lid.

BANNED
Classic open topped popcorn container design banned from Revenge of the Sith cinemas

The new official design forces the popcorn eater to push their hand into the unit to remove the popcorn. As soon as the hand is removed, the hinged lid closes and thus stops the popcorn from showering over everyone if the popcorn eater were to suddenly jolt upwards or to the side.

Official popcorn holder for Revenge of the Sith

The design, based on a popular kitchen waste disposal idea, has been rushed through sweat shops in Indonesia in record time for the movie's world-wide release in May.

A spokesman told us that this officially licensed container will add an extra $5 to the cost of in-cinema popcorn, but was a 'small price to pay for protecting fellow cinema goers from being buried under a mountain of hurled popcorn'.

Our experts asked the company that made the container what happens if the popcorn eater is so scared during the movie that they throw the whole plastic container up into the air? Our experts have calculated that a Revenge of the Sith plastic container filled with popcorn is at least 57 times heavier than a single piece of popcorn.

When the company finally called us back, they assured us that an officially licensed Revenge of the Sith helmet and knee pads set will be on sale to protect against the new danger of officially licensed popcorn container dropping on your head during the scary bits.

Phew. The marketing cycle seems to be complete to us. Good night.

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*The first movie to get a popcorn guidance rating was X rated The Exorcist in 1972.

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