news organisation has made a cardinal, who is currently engaged in selecting the
next Pope, into an illegal pirate radio station, we can exclusively reveal for
the first time today.
years ago, when the previous Pope was selected, radio transmission technology
was bulky, but today powerful transmission equipment can easily fit inside a pointy
hat taller than 6 inches.
expert confirmed our story:
we can show, for the first time, what a cardinal looks like when illegally transmitting.
picture, below, was taken during tests of the broadcasting equipment currently
cardinal seen here, managed to completely disrupt the Vatican's All Hits Radio
98.4 for an area of 300 yards.
while transmitting on 98.4FM
the penalty for cardinal tampering in this way in the hereafter is having to listen
to All Hits Radio for eternity.
news organisation with the transmitting cardinal is sure to be the first to name
the next Pope when it is finally decided upon, unless there is another cardinal
fitted with the same device.
security experts tell us that in the event of two cardinals being fitted with
the same device they might cancel each other out, especially if they cuddle, or
both of these cardinals were transmitting, the signal may be lost.