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March 24, 2005
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Top Ten Funniest 'Pet Named Lucky' Stories We Could Make Up (Part Two)

Don't laugh, they will be reporting these next week

Below we conclude our efforts with numbers 5 to 1 in our top ten Lucky the Pet stories. (For yesterday's Part One click here.)

5
We named Granny Jones Lucky as she always had a smile on her face and a youthful optimism. One day, while taking her out for a push in her wheelchair, she became entangled in netting from a fishing vessel. We are still not sure how it happened but we were told that the nets were dolphin friendly. It is such a shame that our grandmother wasn't a dolphin.
4
Lucky the kangaroo loved nothing better than to don his boxing gloves and go a couple of rounds with me before bed time. Unfortunately one night I punched a little too hard and squashed his nose in. Thankfully I didn't kill him but Lucky is now the only pug nosed kangaroo in Western Australia.
3
Lucky the dog had the longest tongue of any Alsatian I had ever known. One night he was enthusiastically greeting me home when his tongue got caught in a mincing machine and before we knew what to do his whole head had disappeared into it. Why we named him Lucky I will never know.
2
Lucky the camel was brought to our camel sanctuary when he was only three years of age. He had a rare camel condition which basically meant that he was unable to spit. The other camels saw this as a sign of weakness and would bite and kick him. He had a vicious attitude and we sarcastically named him Lucky. He had no friends here even though we tried. We honestly did everything we could to try to stop him going near the electrified fence, but one evening he bit through his ropes and munched himself to a 15,000 volt death. It fused the entire sanctuary. Bastard.
1

Lucky the mouse would spend hours every day running around in his little wheel. Unfortunately he ran so hard one day that the wheel took off, smashed through the side of his cage, across the table, and then slammed onto the ground, hit the wall which eventually brought Lucky to a halt. Lucky tried to stagger out of the wheel but he was dazed by the concussion and then our cat grabbed him by the tail and flipped him up in the air for an hour and a half or so before biting his head off.

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