organizers of the half time show for Super Bowl 39 revealed late last night what
extra wardrobe security measures were put in place to ensure that Paul McCartney
remained fully dressed throughout his performance.
nipple protected by heat sensitive NASA probe
welded shut by team of Marine specialists
fitted with low-impact crash bag in case of low pull to willy region
protect against this clear danger of 'builders botty' McCartney's rear was protected
with barbed wire stitching
wore an ass colored T-shirt which was long enough to cover any temporary exposure
piano seat McCartney was sitting on was on rollers so if someone pulled from behind
he would go flying backwards and off stage, thus a rip was not possible on camera
Jackson's right nipple was unavailable for comment.