Feb 18, 2005
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Jackson Illness

Michael Jackson's Condition Improves To 'Very Very Iffy'

Trial Halted Amidst Health Turmoil

Michael Jackson's condition is said to be 'very very iffy' following his overnight stay in hospital, Tuesday.

The multi millionaire, who started off his sickie with claims of being very very ill, admitted himself to hospital for tests. He was discharged after recovering to the internationally recognized sickie excuse level of ill (or very iffy) on the third day.

Employees on self-certified sickness are advised to follow the following sickie excuse timeline for a 7 day absence from work/trial. [Remember, when phoning your employer/trial judge talk slowly and try to sneeze within the first 25 seconds of the call. Prefix the sentence in the right hand box with "I'm feeling...", or "My wife is feeling", or "My client is feeling..."]:
Tuesday (Day 1)
Very very ill
Wednesday (Day 2)
Very ill/Very very iffy indeed
Thursday (Day 3)
Ill / Very iffy
Friday (Day 4)
Iffy / Very very sniffly - don't want to chance it back just yet
Saturday (Day 5)
Very sniffly, but it's still too soon to come back in, in case I sneeze over someone important
Sunday (Day 6)
Bit of a sniffle but otherwise mustn't grumble but the office/ trial is closed today because it is a Sunday
© Originally published by International Sickie Days Association

The trial is set to continue next week.


We have been asked to make it clear that it is standard hospital procedure to stick an intravenous drip into any patient suspected of being very very ill.

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Inevitable Jokes for Schools and Geeky Offices Number 87,657

A reporter goes to the door of Michael Jackson's house. The door is answered by a servant. The reporter says: "Can I please speak to Michael Jackson?"

The servant says: "I'm sorry, no, he's ill, upstairs, in bed."

The reporter says "Flu?"

The servant says: "No, he walked up the stairs all by himself."

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