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'Slow Boat To China' Vets To Criticise George W Bush in TV Ads

Bush's musicals past to come back to haunt him

A musicals troupe calling themselves The 'Slow Boat To China' Veterans for Truth are to launch a scathing attack on President George W Bush, calling him a poor dancer, a dubious mime and a tone-deaf singer.

The claims are to appear in a television advertisement to be screened across the USA from the 15th September, we can now report.

The vets claim George W Bush was an active member of their musicals company during the time of the Vietnam War. During this time he accepted bouquets of flowers, rapturous applause and good reviews for a number of performances in which his understudy covered for him.

The troupe named themselves after the Frank Loesser penned standard 'Slow Boat To China' which was a favourite amongst audiences in the early 1970's and which Bush is known to have performed, they claim.

Vice President Dick Cheney gritted his teeth when dismissing these claims:

"Don't be fooled by the tittle tattle in the growing number of Al Qaeda financed anti America-Bush web sites: In this election American voters have the straightforward choice between, on the one hand, a heroic president who never threw away any medals he never won in a disgraceful war for his country and, on the other hand, we have a disgraceful candidate who threw away medals his country gave him for being heroic when fighting in a war for his country. Let's not lose sight of that. Who would you rather have as president?"

John Kerry supporters deny having anything to do with the web site set up to raise funds to keep the 30 second TV ad on the air.

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