The home of world comedy truth entertainment +++ Bush vs Kerry

Who Won The Second Presidential Debate? A Pro Wrestling Special

A World President Wrestling presentation

Hello fight fans and welcome to this exclusive, as it happens, text description of the rumble in St Louis. Thanks to our friends at World President Wrestling for the opportunity to make this historic wrestling webcast.

All the pictures in this article are genuine pictures from the presidential debate in St Louis, Friday 8th October. The only manipulation that has taken place is for brightness and sizing.

In the blue corner we have 'Gorgeous' John Kerry. Look out for Kerry's favourite moves: lightening-fast karate chops to the legs and head. He's also known to fight dirty at times... so let's hope today's bout isn't hampered by illegal holds under the belt...

In the red corner we have George 'Texas Earth Tremor' Bush. Bush has everything to play for after their first meeting last week in which Kerry got the better of him. Bush is determined to take the initiative in this bout - look out for his special holds: The hypnotising eyes, thunderous punches to the head, and he, too, can play dirty, so watch out for an illegal use of glasses or pens...

Your commentary for tonight's bout is provided by Merv 'Headlock' Harrison, for World President Wrestling.

Lets get ready to rumble!... Seconds out, WRESTLE!

Bush comes out with an ambitious psychological attack: an unexpected kiss on the side of Kerry's face. Kerry is visibly annoyed. It's clear from the get-go that it's gonna be a dirty fight tonight, fight fans...
 
"I'm a baaaad man! I'm gonna nail him! Nail him good and square! HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME AMERICA? HE'S GOING DOWN!"
 
Bush seems to be mesmerised by Kerry's hand. He can't take his eyes off the hand fight fans! Back and forth, up and down, to and fro, even fore and aft! Has Kerry managed to hypnotise the president? YES! It looks like it! Incredible!
 

Has Bush been hypnotised? Is it all over for the president? We all knew he was badly damaged in their first bout, and it looks all over! You heard me right, fight fans: the president looks like he is going to fall to sleep at any second!

 
But it isn't over!
Incredibly, Bush manages to struggle to his feet. Biff, POW! He karate chops Kerry in the forehead! The crowd are screaming now! This is simply an incredible match up!
 
Kerry is furious! He struggles off the canvas and waves his fist at Bush...
 
BOOM! Straight in the kisser! The crowd can't believe it! These are simply incredible scenes here in St Louis!

For Part Two click here

 
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