Bringing
you the exclusive polls nobody else wanted
USA:
An exclusive poll carried out for this web site shows that
7 out of 10 seniors in swing states who are on at
least three kinds of medication, over the age of 85, and
living in homes for the elderly, would choose to buy their
hot dogs, and hot processed meat snacks, from Vice President
Dick Cheney.
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Hot
'Dick' Dog Cheney
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Hot
'John' Dog Edwards
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This
is the first poll following the candidate's performance
in the vice presidential debate earlier this week. No candidate
who has lost the hot dog test has ever gone on to win the
election, apart from Dan Quayle.
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Who
he?
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Gollum
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Cheney
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The
test is important as it shows that people like to feel good
about themselves when buying food which contains questionable
ingredients that could make them choke violently.
Pollsters
also found that Dick Cheney was the preferred choice to
lead the elderly in 'song around the piano'. Senator John
Edwards, on the other hand, was the most trusted person
to take seniors out and bring them back alive on walks.
