"I'm not registered... I only went in for a wee!"
"I don't think I can remember, dear. Let me see...
uhmm... oh... oooh... uhm... was it, no, no, it couldn't
have been, uhm.... just a minute... uhm, I'm awfully sorry
about this.... uhm..." (continue until the pollster
"I voted for Ronald Reagan. Oh, you mean this time?"
"I voted with this finger on my right hand!"
"I voted for the candidate who's wife looks like
If the exit pollster has facial hair: "Would I be
a bad American if I told a beardy man who I voted for?"
"I haven't told the truth to an exit pollster since
1955 and I'm not going to start now. John Kerry."
"Well, thank you for asking young man! First off
I voted for John Kerry, then I changed my mind and voted
for George W Bush, then I changed my mind and voted for
Ralph Nader and then I changed my mind back again to my
first choice, John Kerry. By this time I was on first
name terms with all six of the election officials. Then
security kicked me out of the polling station, so I assume
I've voted for Bush."
"Are you an exit pollster or the election auditor?
If the former, John Kerry, if the latter George Bush."
For Electronic Voting Poll Stations: "OH! Have you
got change for a dollar? Quarters would be great and I'll
go back in to beat my best score!"