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Top 10 Tips: What to Say to Confuse the Exit Pollsters Today

November 2, 2004 - US Presidential Elections

US voters are being asked to confuse exit pollsters today to make the TV election coverage more exciting.

So, here, we have developed an excuse for all voters, from first-timers, to world-weary creaky-greys.

Pick your favorite from the list below and let the drama begin...

1) "I'm not registered... I only went in for a wee!"

2) "I don't think I can remember, dear. Let me see... uhmm... oh... oooh... uhm... was it, no, no, it couldn't have been, uhm.... just a minute... uhm, I'm awfully sorry about this.... uhm..." (continue until the pollster walks away)

3) "I voted for Ronald Reagan. Oh, you mean this time?"

4) "I voted with this finger on my right hand!"

5) "I voted for the candidate who's wife looks like Dustin Hoffman"

6) If the exit pollster has facial hair: "Would I be a bad American if I told a beardy man who I voted for?"

7) "I haven't told the truth to an exit pollster since 1955 and I'm not going to start now. John Kerry."

8) "Well, thank you for asking young man! First off I voted for John Kerry, then I changed my mind and voted for George W Bush, then I changed my mind and voted for Ralph Nader and then I changed my mind back again to my first choice, John Kerry. By this time I was on first name terms with all six of the election officials. Then security kicked me out of the polling station, so I assume I've voted for Bush."

9) "Are you an exit pollster or the election auditor? If the former, John Kerry, if the latter George Bush."

10) For Electronic Voting Poll Stations: "OH! Have you got change for a dollar? Quarters would be great and I'll go back in to beat my best score!"

 
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