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'Anyone But Bush' Campaign Disbands

It's all over for another four years

Following what has been described as the 'most drunken week in political campaigning history', the Anyone But Bush group has finally disbanded.

The Columbus, Ohio, chapter of the group had been so confident of success that they had preordered enough alcohol and drugs to comatose a medium sized township.

The decision was taken to start the celebrations on hearing the first exit polls on the 2nd, but, by the time it became clear that John Kerry had not done as well as expected, the drinking turned into what has been described as 'pathological self-denial abuse'.

The drinking session concluded yesterday, 9th November at 5:34am, after three of the campaigners had been sucking on empty beer cans for 7 hours.

Harry Dolenz, leader of the Columbus chapter, told our reporter:

"I have been hugging people telling them I love them for the last four days. It was just one of those binge drinking weeks, you know what it's like."

The 24 year old claimed not to have slept at all since Bush was reelected.

Dolenz had come to national prominence in a CNN report in which he would lead meetings wearing a pair of Michael Moore underpants donated to the group. Dolenz proudly showed reporters a signed picture of him wearing the documentarist's underpants on his head.

The pair of underpants are to be auctioned on Ebay once they have been cleaned.

 
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