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Ultimate Arguing Championship 32: "Just Bring Your Teeth"

No holds barred debating championship

It's the no holds barred debating championship they're all talking about.

From controversial beginnings in 1993, the UAC has come a long way. In the early days, Ultimate Arguing was banned in over 25 states for allowing spitting, choke holds, throwing things and slamming doors. There were no rounds in those days and arguments went on sometimes for days. The rules generally favoured married couples.

But since UAC 12 the rules have been tightened up with a view to build a television and radio audience and since then the championship's popularity has grown spectacularly across the world.

Main rules
  • Arguers argue for three, five minute rounds
  • No touching, spitting or exchange of bodily fluids
  • No throwing things
  • No door slamming
  • Taunting with the hands, arms, tongue and legs are allowed
  • Any words can be used in any language
  • No limit to how loud the contestants can scream and shout

Tonight's main event is a title match between defending Ultimate Arguing champion, television evangelist Jesus Jackson - weighing in at 245 pounds, and standing 6ft3 tall. This man mountain has cleared all opposition from coast to coast since UAC 25 with his passionate 'divine' delivery and speedy finishing moves.

His opponent is Mary 'The Strangler' Kinsella. Kinsella weighs in at 125 pounds, 5ft 3, and promises to bring with her a set of arguments so powerful it will reduce Jackson to tears. "I want to see him squeal like a baby", said Kinsella at the pre-argue weigh-in last night.

Kinsella made a name for herself in Ultimate Arguing 29 when she completely frustrated her opponent with wrong arguments and self-double-contradiction which tied her victim in a logical knot before she applied the verbal guillotine, a popular move in debates with European Kings of the 17th century.

Check local cable listings for details. The main event is at 10 Central, the sub card starts at 7.

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