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ipod to get 'play tune backwards' option, Satan worshippers celebrate

"Backwards Satanic messages to be heard once more, and for the first time in digital quality"

Ipod owning Satanists, who like to listen to backwards messages to them in rock music, were said to be celebrating 'with blood in darkly lit rooms', last night.

Apple are expected to confirm soon that they are to introduce a backtracking option in future versions of the digital player to enable listeners to hear hidden, backwards messages in rock music in digital quality for the first time.

An Apple user told us:

The Ipod is uniquely positioned in the Satanic music market. Before, listening to these backwards messages required complex tape-looping or needle-destroying vinyl techniques, which themselves could lead to accidental strangulation or finger burns.
 
A Led Zeppelin Satanist told us:
 

It's a great day for Zeppelin fans around the world who can now hear all of the phonetically reversed Satanic messages in Stairway to Heaven in digital quality for the first time. I just hope they don't sound crap.

 

-x-x-

In a sort of related development, Apple are also expected to announce shortly that they intend to offer listeners an option to digitally filter subliminal, but right-way-round messages. This will enable Judas Priest fans to hear instructions to kill themselves in digital quality for the first time.

Advanced orders for Priest's "Stained Class" album download with the reported subliminal message 'do it' (taken to mean 'kill yourself' by fans in a famous court case) is expected to cause mayhem, once again, later in the year.

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