Ipod
owning Satanists, who like to listen to backwards messages
to them in rock music, were said to be celebrating 'with
blood in darkly lit rooms', last night.
Apple
are expected to confirm soon that they are to introduce
a backtracking option in future versions of the digital
player to enable listeners to hear hidden, backwards messages
in rock music in digital quality for the first time.
An
Apple user told us:
The Ipod is uniquely positioned in the Satanic music
market. Before, listening to these backwards messages
required complex tape-looping or needle-destroying
vinyl techniques, which themselves could lead to accidental
strangulation or finger burns. |
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A
Led Zeppelin Satanist told us:
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It's
a great day for Zeppelin fans around the world who
can now hear all of the phonetically reversed Satanic
messages in Stairway to Heaven in digital quality
for the first time.
I just hope they don't sound crap.
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-x-x-
In
a sort of related development, Apple are also expected to
announce shortly that they intend to offer listeners an
option to digitally filter subliminal, but right-way-round
messages. This will enable Judas Priest fans to hear
instructions to kill themselves in digital quality for the
first time.
Advanced
orders for Priest's "Stained Class" album download
with the reported subliminal message 'do it' (taken to mean
'kill yourself' by fans in a famous court case) is expected
to cause mayhem, once again, later in the year.
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