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Top Ten Things Not To Say at Airports These Days
"Did you just say you had a bomb in your bag?"

As a 21 year old British woman gets arrested at Miami Dade airport for 'joking' with a Security Officer that she had a bomb in her bag, we present the top ten most stupid things to say in an airport...

She's in with a bullet at number one after she apparently was asked to repeat her claims twice before being arrested...

10
Passenger "MMMh! You are a very attractive Security Officer I am going to kiss you on the lips right this minute!"
9
Passenger "This increased security gives me the horn!"
8
Passenger "Babe, did you put the whip in your bag or mine?"
7
Passenger "Jesus, it looks like a bomb is about to go off in here!"
6
Passenger to Security Guard "I have a gun on me but I am a undercover Air Marshal so it's all right!"
5
Passenger "If I see one more security guard with a gun I'm gonna grab it and go on a pretend shooting spree - don't worry I won't fire it, it'll be a laugh!"
4
Passenger to Security Guard "I would like to strap explosives to my baby, could you point me to the changing room please?"
3
Security "Excuse me Madam what do you have in your bag?"
Passenger "I have a big bomb in my bag."
S "Madam, could you repeat that please."
P "I'm only joking, nothing. Just dirty smelly smalls! Ha Ha! Oh, for goodness sake, let's have a smile Sour Puss!"
2
Security "Excuse me Madam, what do you have in your bag?"
Passenger "I have a big fat bomb in my bag."
S "Madam, could you repeat that please."
P "Yes, I think so, let me try: I have a big fat bomb in my bag!"
S "Madam, as you sound like you are from England, and, in view of the fact that they have a strange sense of humor over there, I will ask you for the third time: What do you have in your bag?"
P "OK I'm only joking! I don't have a bomb in there at all!"
1
Security "Excuse me Madam, what do you have in your bag?"
Passenger "Oh, Mr Security Officer, I have a big bomb in my bag!"
S "Madam, could you repeat that please."
P "Yes, of course I can, I have a big fat exploady bomb in my bag!"
S "Madam, for the third time, and I must warn you to answer this carefully, what do you have in your bag?"
P "I have a big fat juicy exploady bomb! Are you deaf as well as chunky?"
S "Madam, you're under arrest!"
P "I was only joking! Haven't you got a sense of humour over here? Let me out! Mum!" Dad! Boo hoo!"
 

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