The home of world comedy truth entertainment +++ Pagan Festival

Stonehenge: Winter Solstice 2004 was Officially Least Nude In History

21st December - Winter Begins in England
Nudity rare at Winter Solstice

People who turned up 'just for the atmosphere' at Stonehenge for the Winter Solstice today, complained of the biggest lack of nudity ever, we can report.

The Winter Solstice on the 21st December is rarely marked by much naked cavorting of any kind as it is so cold, but this year there was 'significantly less than normal'.

Pagans, hippies and people who can't be bothered to shave, covered themselves in knitted woolens and toasty looking hats, played flutes and danced in circles with Wellington Boots on their feet. Only their hands and small parts of their faces were nude.

Whilst nudity is encouraged during the Winter Solstice celebrations, due to bylaws banning the God of Fire from the Stonehenge stones, revelers chose not to expose their flesh in this traditional Pagan dancey sing-song.

This is in stark contrast to the Summer Solstice of 21st June in which nudity and flowing long hair is the norm.

Historians immediately retreated to their caravans to consult their history books and found that this was the least nude Winter Solstice in recorded history.

A nude historian told us:

"Records only go back about 300 years so it is difficult to be certain, but it is possible that this year saw the least naked Winter Solstice celebrations in Stonehenge history."

A fully clothed historian who studies nude Pagans told us:

"Ironically there is a warm snap coming up in the next few days which might encourage revelers turning up late to do a striptease."


In other news...

Stonehenge rabbits, who take only a peripheral interest in the Summer Solstice, because human revelers have been known to chase after them, take a more active interest in the winter one as revelers can't run as fast.

For our latest stories click here
Don't stop searching for the truth. You certainly won't find it here.
"The home of truth entertainment", "The truth is in here" and "Uniting the world through sarcasm"(c) TM. World rights reserved. This story Dec 21, 2004. This is a comedy site with 100% original material. All stories are made up.
We also run a site specifically for the UK/Europe at
Do you have a comment? Help us improve:
Advert when only cynicism will do