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Secret Timberlake and Diaz Marriage Plans Discovered on Laptop in Pakistan

Reporters set for media storm

Details of Justin Timberlake's planned marriage to girlfriend, movie actor Cameron Diaz, have apparently been found in a computer file on a laptop discovered during security raids across Pakistan last month.

Radiantly vulnerable

The file is said to contain details of what is sure to be the most anticipated surprise marriage media-frenzy of the year.

According to the file, the secret wedding is to take place on September 18th at 12:30 in the Lovi'n'Cup and Grill, Las Vegas, in front of a few family members.

The booking has been made in the name of Mr Derek Smallpiece and Ms Jenny Crabshot.

The couple have said they want a quiet wedding and have asked reporters to allow them privacy to enjoy their special day.

But, as at 10:30pm last night, all helicopters, ram raiding equipment and fire lifts have been hired by news agencies across Las Vegas for the whole of September.

All holiday leave for entertainment reporters has been cancelled, and at least one major US network has arranged special aggressive camera techniques to ensure they get the best shot of the outside of the chapel during the ceremony.

Walk backwards

According to details in the computer file, Justin Timberlake will wear matching pearl earrings, a white vest and will, at least at some point, moon walk down the aisle backwards.

Cameron Diaz will wear a flowing white silk wedding dress and diamond encrusted tiara. She will be looking radiantly vulnerable at some point.

The couple will kiss at the end of the 15 minute ceremony and sing-song.


Security Intelligence Caveat: This story has been released before we were able to check any of the facts. The credibility of the laptop owner has been described as being 'witty at best'.

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