Unattractive,
topless women are terrorising a beach resort in the Black
Sea, police have told us.
The
topless women, mostly aged over 65 years, walk up and down
the sea front, browse for gifts in gift shops and sometimes
lay chest upwards on the sand.
These
women have had a 'markedly detrimental' effect on tourism
in the resort of Concertina County, Romania, complain police.
On one beach, popular for volleyball, ice cream sales have
fallen by over 25% so far this year.
The
local police, determined to stop the situation getting any
worse, are recruiting more officers to ensure that only
women attractive enough to go topless are allowed to do
so.
Those
women deemed 'unfit' and seen walking, or bathing, topless
on the beach will be arrested under new emergency anti-terrorism
laws.
Police
Chief Victor Poppeldopolis told our reporter that he is
co-ordinating the setting up of a crack squad of beach monitoring
agents:
Police
are to set up security check points where women can go for
advice on whether they are deemed attractive enough to go
topless - these will be staffed by officers with absolutely
no qualifications whatsoever.
Elsewhere,
the resort is to introduce minimum walking speeds in areas
where particularly high levels of unattractive topless women
have been reported.
There
will also be a SWAT squad which can be called into action
in grievous breaches of the new anti-topless laws. They
will be armed with large towels and big baggy t-shirts.
Our
reporter has told us that unattractive topless men will
only be affected if they have big hairy boobies.
