that President George W Bush is safely outside British airspace
(following his state visit to England), we can reveal here,
for the first time, what was probably the biggest security
threat he faced during the visit... Join us as we ask:
the President in any danger when he ate Mushy Peas during
the traditional fish and chips pub lunch with Prime Minister
Tony Blair on Friday...?"
Peas are 'industrially processed' peas which are mashed up
into an almost-pulp [with a green colour added (otherwise
they would be brown)] and then sealed in a can. They are then
carefully opened in the traditional English Chippy (fish and
chip shop), warmed up, and then slopped liberally over fish
'Did you know?'
In poorly lit English pubs Mushy Peas had a fluorescent
dye added to enable dining without the need for
security advisors have told us that President Bush's security
was never more at risk than while he ate these Mushy Peas.
Peas taste like a nicely warm rug.
the President know what Mushy Peas are made out
is true that, throughout the entire history of the Mushy Pea,
no dignitary visiting England has died from eating them, but
this is the first time we have ever heard of a visiting dignitary
ever being given them to eat. The Queen of England has probably
never even heard of them, even less likely eaten them.
Peas were given a major boost in the 1970's with the release
of the movie
The Exorcist - the projectile vomit is widely
believed to have been inspired by Mushy Peas.
Peas have become more popular than tomato ketchup in some
parts of England.
the President's state visit to England over 120,000
people demonstrated against the visit on the streets
our survey, taken at Westminster Bridge Thursday night,
35% of the demonstrators questioned said that if President
Bush ate Mushy Peas during his stay it would make up
in large part for lying about the reasons for going
to war in Iraq.
is the official English Pub Lunch Menu prepared for the President's
Olde Englifh Menu
of cooked fat 'n' onions)
meatballs, made out of various undisclosed "meats")
in tomato sauce
and potato fried together in lard)
and mashed potato)
in the Hole
in batter/Yorkshire pudding)
and Chips served in newspaper (with traditional wooden
two pronged fork) (Optional extras: Mushy Peas, Onion
Gravy, Curry Sauce)
Dick with custard
pudding with currants/sultanas)
Cream and Scones
thick/coloured cream and sweet buns with currents)
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