The Gillette Shaving Corporation announces today the launch of its newest besteverclosestshave. The six blade, Tight to the Skin™ range, will give men a closer shave than at any time in shaving history.

Marketing executives were keen to point out the advantages of going straight from the current three blade (Mach3®™) system to a six blade (TightToTheSkin™) system, claiming they want to take the world's whiskers by surprise.

Gillette has spent over one kerchillian dollars improving on the three blade razor which is now much copied.

This is how the new, patented, six blade razor works in television ad format...

The first blade removes the top off the whisker The whisker has been ready for the second blade since 1982 so no problem here! Mr Whisker sits, resigned, waiting for the inevitable third blade. After the third blade, the whisker is lulled into a false sense of security - it now feels confident enough to pop its little head up again, unawares of the latest advance in shaver technology! EEEEK! EEEEK! EEEEK! The fourth blade slices the head off the whisker Psycho style. The whisker had no chance! Squash! The fifth blade bashes the whisker on its head, then digs in deep to the root before pinging it away! The blade goads the whisker: "You're not getting away this time Mister Whisker!" Finally, the sixth blade stabs the whisker two more times to loosen it, then flicks it away with contempt, as if to say: 'Don't mess with my sixth blade bad ass self!' Your whisker has no chance and gives up. Afterwards: Your face is left as smooth as a baby's botty! Your lusty athletic woman will not be able to stop licking you.

--- Please tell a friend about this story --